There have obviously been many revelations and upheavals this year. In one way or another every business and industry has been affected by the pandemic as well as the imminent social and political issues. And because of my vested interest in fashion I paid particular attention to the way the industry was being affected and watched what some media has called the “bankruptcy parade.” There have been many interesting patterns that have risen in different industries such as restaurants, entertainment, oil, travel, etc. All these patterns say something about our lives, some insight to our habits and the changes we’re enduring. In many ways the pandemic gave us a much clearer view of some of the disparities that exist in our culture - systematic racism, inadequate health care, wealth inequality, and the incompetency of our administration. Its as if we were all watching these issues from an old fuzzy TV and then all of sudden the pandemic turned all these things to HD, 4K, surround sound home theater quality and we were all startled by the level of detail that we saw these epic disparities explode in a blinding special effects display.

I started to think about the fashion industry, what this period of time was saying about it. What kind of picture it was painting and what issues it was making clear. It also deflated my own ideas of fashion and the shiny, infallible images I bought into. I began to see all the cracks and the ridiculousness of it all. Even in school I was taught that these fashion companies and brands knew what they were doing, that I should learn from them and hope to work for them. And then all of a sudden I watched the falling of these giants, one by one, following each other to the fashion graveyard. This is my own journey of these observations, my take, and my musings of what some of these things say about the industry and their deeper meanings.

What a sight to behold! These giants free falling and we are finally given the window into their reality, the reality of their debts, missteps, mismanagement, greed, and misguided judgment calls. Let’s start with some of my favorites, Opening Ceremony and Barney’s. They actually fell even before the pandemic took hold. I’ll save you the details of how they got started and their conceptual fashion ethos, instead I’ll tell you what they meant to me. I still sigh at the thought of both of them, beautifully irreverent and unabashedly quirky, stocking the who’s who of designers. They were not afraid to lift up emerging small designers into the fashion spotlight. They were quite literally the tastemakers of the fresh, fun, creative, and edgy designs. I would go to these places and drink from their refreshing pool of beautifully made clothes and visionary designers both large and small. If I was lucky I would buy one or two select items, usually on sale, and feel as if I was going home with a treasure. I began to imagine all the metropolitan fashion heads hearing the news of these fallen greats and standing there wide eyed, clutching their designer bags with their hand over their mouths exclaiming softly “such a shame” and then wondering immediately after “when’s the sale?” And in the fashion graveyard I imagined Barney’s headstone reading “Here lies Barney’s 1923 – 2020. The sophisticated curator of designer cool. We will fondly remember you always.” And of course this was just the beginning.

By the time the Coronavirus became our new normal these companies all hit the fan, one after another - Neiman Marcus, J Crew, Diane Von Furstenburg, John Varvatos, Lucky Brand, G Star, Brooks Brothers. We watched their sad marches into bankruptcy court. For me, I began to see them in a whole new light. Like when you start living with a person after you’ve dated them a while. All of a sudden you see all their flaws, insecurities, and moods, not just the pleasant presentable view they put together for you. With their backstories exposed, I began to see these brands, designers, and retailers for the people they really were.

Neiman Marcus has been operating with billions of dollars in debt and they were not able to make certain interest payments, filing for bankruptcy in May. These kinds of numbers and concepts can be confounding to a small person like me. I began to try and understand it in terms of the kind of person Neiman Marcus might be. To me it felt like meeting a gentleman who goes by the name Sir Neiman Marcus. He wears a Gucci suit and drives around in a Bentley, but is practically homeless and can’t afford food. And on top of that people buy into this high society image that Sir Neiman Marcus presents so he’s somehow able to constantly borrow more and more money for his gambling habit a.k.a. fashion retail business. Thus his insane outstanding debt only increases. Well, Sir Neiman Marcus, I guess the Coronavirus put an end to these gambling games.

J Crew filed for bankruptcy in March, but secured a multi-million dollar loan to keep them a float. This naturally resulted in their credit rating being severely downgraded. What?! J Crew, you were the very image of a middle class, stable, put together person - the list checker and reasonable investor. In reality Mr. Crew you are broke AF with bad credit begging for another shot. Like a dubious spouse making another wild promise that somehow they’ll do better next time, “just one more chance” Mr. Jay Crew begs.

And it’s not just companies that have officially filed for bankruptcy, many are in a lot of financial trouble and are trying different strategies or closing a significant amount of stores - like Macy’s, Zara, Guess, and Gap. Even Nordstrom’s has an outstanding debt of 2.7 billion dollars and they announced that they would be closing 16 stores permanently. Almost 3 billion dollars?!! They can’t possibly blame coronavirus for all that! Almost 3 billion takes some time to accumulate. They’ve also been around since 1901. Yes, right around the time when they invented the freakin’ RADIO. The little miraculous box began to entertain with sound in people’s living rooms and right around that time Nordstrom’s also came into fruition. And they haven’t yet figured out a good business model?! Yes, times change, technology changes, and trends change. One of my questions is - wouldn’t being one of the biggest retailers better equip you to weather these changes? I guess not. Maybe it’s not the question of these individual companies but these models at large. Some giant retailers get into a lot of trouble when they expand too quickly. Problems arise such as high operating costs, too much leftover inventory, and increases in lease prices over time. Maybe it’s the pursuit of bigger, faster, and more that ends up swallowing their own companies.

Other companies that have filed for bankruptcy recently include JC Penney, NY and Co, True Religion, Ann Taylor, Men’s Wearhouse, and Lord and Taylor. Brands before the pandemic that filed for bankruptcy include Forever 21, Sonia Rykel, and Diesel. Even before that such big fashion names who were considered incredible innovators filed for bankruptcy, such names like Zac Posen, Roberto Cavalli, Betsey Johnson, Yohji Yamamoto, and Christian Lacroix. I stand aghast at some of these names mentioned. Yohji Yamamoto, the toast of every fashion circle, someone who is written into the fashion history books and known for his Y3 Adidas collaboration before collaborations became the thing. What’s more, when these companies or designers go belly up they expose their debts of millions, hundreds of millions, or sometimes billions of dollars. And in some cases like Roberto Cavalli it exposes his 200 outstanding creditors, who were all asking where their money was.

Does anyone have it together? Of course there are exceptions such as Lululemon, it’s not a huge surprise that they’re doing well because of the current demand of comfort wear. And many reputable brands and labels are continuing to act like business as usual, especially high-end luxury fashion houses. These brands are looking to other places like China for their market. But I question these tactics as well. The LVMH group who owns Louis Vuitton reported recently that its first-half profits are down by 68%. The Kering group that owns Gucci has revenue down 44% for its second quarter sales. Both doing much worse than they thought, but was that really a surprise during these times when sweats or no pants under stay at home orders are the new normal? Does “business as usual” even work moving forward? A lot of times we won’t know the depth of their trouble until the end is near for them.

Yes, every aspect of fashion and retail has been impacted by the pandemic, but I feel like the problem goes deeper than that. In many cases the pandemic became the final blow, but these companies were already riddled with huge problems. In a lot of cases they already made a series of bad calls, and obviously had a whole lot of debt. It also got me thinking - what happens when sales and profits become the only driving force? Are these companies really in touch with the people they are selling to? Are they really paying attention to the changing world and shifting environment? Or has this somewhat empty pursuit given them a perpetual tunnel vision that constantly leaves them out of touch and out of sync. Maybe these brands and designers weren’t really listening to begin with. Maybe they were so busy coming up with marketing schemes to shove styles down people’s throats that they forget to pay attention and listen to people’s needs and wants. They made items that said “someone will pay for this” instead of asking “how can I contribute and support people’s lives through fashion?” Or there was a big demand for them at a certain point in time. Then they expanded and became so bloated, opening so many locations, having production so large that they buckled under their own weight. This goes for every spectrum of fashion - high-end luxury, fast and cheap fashion, and everything in between.

I truly believe that products are creations that are infused with the artistic spirit and authenticity of the creator. That’s why I love the sometimes impractical, but always innovative designs of emerging designers, who previously were lifted up by such retail benefactors like Opening Ceremony and Barney’s. But maybe they were out of touch with the practicality of people’s needs and what people were willing to spend. Or these retailers were simply remnants of a past time, riding the coattails of the absurd spending habits of the 90’s and 2000’s, prior to the 2008 crash. And on the other end there’s fast fashion, where designs are pumped out and copied, made in a factory and in a country across the ocean, at the cheapest price and force fed to us through false marketing charades. Maybe in the end that whole process fails to uphold. Integrity is lost and the designs become flat. I have worked at a company that made clothing for some of the largest retailers and I have personally felt drained. I was told to copy textile designs over and over again, with no artistic integrity and the goal of everyone was - “as long as it sells and as long as my ass is not on the line.” And what joyous creations can come out of that? On top of the fact that these products were made cheaply in overseas factories with little regard for human rights. All this made me reflect on what I am creating. I’d like to think that this is my great experiment to see if my love of creating artistic, quality, and sustainable products shines through. Regardless, I feel fully immersed and happy with what I’m doing and if I can share that with others, it would be such a joy.

The Blueberry Galactica Bandana was one of the first items I worked on with these thoughts and ponderings in mind. Then things became simple, it became about experimentation and in being with the process until I saw something that made me go “Ooooo! I like that.” It’s my first item for sale and the beginning of my great experiment. There’s definitely much more to come. This has truly been a unique time and hard for a lot of people. This time has also served as a period of reflection. For me it has also been about seeing the truth in the fashion industry and coming back to something that’s authentic to me. I hope to bring to life concepts that will translate into my products, while holding the highest ideals of integrity, quality, art, and people. And to do this without the pretense, without feeling like I need to fill some market need in order to participate - or that I need to play into fallacious images to package and sell. I’m interested in process, in fabric, in making things that are useful and wearable, that are artistically unique and made with care. I’m interested in how we can move forward in manufacturing and packaging and creating less waste overall. I’ve held these beliefs for a while, but observing these times has made me see even more what is possible and hold these ideals even closer. So let’s see where this great experiment goes. In the meantime I’m happily reveling in the process with all its ups and downs and sharing the steps along the way.

Exploding Blueberries and Falling Giants